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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Santa Claus is coming to town…

**SPOILER ALERT** If you still believe in Santa Claus, you may not want to read on. This week has brought many conversations regarding how one should appropriately dress the gifts that Santa leaves under the Christmas tree. If we are trying to preserve the myth, then not using wrapping paper makes sense. Santa has over a katrillion kids to deliver to, he would NOT have time to wrap, let alone add a bow. Furthermore, in order to maintain the multi-faceted ruse that is Kris Kringle, there should be but one gift from good ole St. Nick. One. Gift. Again, it’s a numbers game here and as my mom always says, K.I.S.S. Speaking of my adorable mom, she definitely kept it simple throughout my childhood. There were no gifts from Santa under our tree. No Santa gifts, I do not jest. My dad was just too pragmatic to perpetuate the notion that a man rode around in a sleigh pulled by reindeer delivering gifts to children who were good. Never mind that Santa didn’t keep a list of who was naughty or nice. “Be naughty if you want,” my dad said to me and my brother, “you’re getting what we got you!” And my mom was just too easy-going and sweet to argue with him. Me personally, were I Santa, I would not live at the North Pole. If we’re talking population density, I know the northern hemisphere is where it’s at, but a location a bit more south and the weather would be less of a deterrent. And isn’t it summer in the southern hemisphere right now? Just saying. If I were Santa, every child would get one beautifully shiny and spherical gift: a marble. You could easily transport them on a sleigh, albeit a C130-sized sleigh, but you get the point. That would be fair to all children and it would force the kids to play together, because what can you do with just one marble except choke on it. Merry Christmas! Here’s a marble, enjoy your choking hazard! Ho, ho, ho, heimlich! It’s about the kids, remember? All kidding aside, Isabelle will get one *unwrapped* gift from Santa, which will go under the tree under the cover of darkness on Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas. Chanuka Sameach. Ramadan mobarak. Happy Solstice. Peace and love. Oooh, and let’s not forget today is Festivus. Gather round the pole for the airing of grievances. I’ll start it off since I know I won’t have a gift from Santa under the tree anyway...

9 comments:

  1. This made me laugh- seriously, it did. Thanks for making me smile this morning :-) Noah will also be getting 1 present from santa.

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  2. Well, in my house growing up, Santa never wrapped gifts. I think Mom had too much to do and not enough time to do it. In keeping with that tradition, Santa doesn't wrap presents in our house either. He comes downstairs to our family room and leaves the presents under the tree. Mom and Dad however, wrap a couple of presents to the kids from us, and we put them under our big tree in the living room. The best of both worlds. Wouldn't all of those marbles be very heavy for the sleigh???? LOL Festivus for the rest of us!!!! Love it!

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  3. Iz does get a few wrapped gifts from us, but just one from Santa. Didn't want any confusion that we deprive the child at Xmas.

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  4. Our Santa presents were unwrapped - but there were many of them. Queue the shock that I was overindulged as a child :-)

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  5. I remember being terribly concerned that Santa would get stuck in the furnace. So my parents assured me that parents had an agreement with Santa that they would leave the door unlocked. I checked, every year. For my kids, I told them parents made arrangements with Santa that gifts could be either Christmas Eve (under the tree) or St Nicks ( a basket outside their bedroom doors) Always a small gift and a candy cane.

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  6. Ooops- we did St Nicks- and then I had to explain that some other parents had the third option of Epiphany. I think Joanne was 11 or 12 before she gave up belief. We were VERY sneaky

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  7. "because what can you do with just one marble except choke on it. "

    I literally laughed out loud at that. Priceless.

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  8. Thanks for all of the feedback! And thank you for letting me know that I made some of you laugh, that makes my day.

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